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Wayne Rooney, Fergie and Harry Redknapp: a brief history of swearing in football
Wayne Rooney, thirsty and shouty England legend, recently fell foul of the police in the USA last month for the crime of "public swearing."
The great man was fined fully 25 dollars for being not only sweary but a bit well refreshed. 25 dollars! He won't be trying that again, will he?
Rooney explained that he'd taken some sleeping pills on a flight and they hadn't mixed well with the booze, which sounds fair enough. Relatable, you might say.
But it is to the potty mouth, not the enthusiastic approach to the drinks trolley, that we must now turn. For Wayne is but the latest in a long line of footballing figures to shock the shockable with his industrial language.
Here, we run the rule over some of football's pottiest mouthed players and gaffers.
Sir defends the Little Witch
Prior to the Jose Mourinho horrors, and the Moyes era, the last time Man United had been in any sustained trouble was when Sir Alex appeared to be losing his touch around 2001. It was excellent fun.
His temper got the better of him as he binned off Jaap Stam, then probably the best centre half in Europe, and replaced him with Laurent Blanc, who was clearly past-it and slower than a week in the jail. At around the same time, he brought in Juan Sebastian Veron.
Ferguson broke the British transfer record to lure Veron from Lazio, but the player was not well-suited to the hurly burly of midfield life in the English top flight. Iffy performance followed iffy performance from the Argentine, and it was apparent to everyone bar Sir that he’d blundered. But he of course fought to the last bullet with his critics in the press, memorably insisting:
“He’s a ****ing great player, youse are all ****ing idiots.”
He then threw all the hacks out of the press conference. Should have been knighted for that alone, really.
Harry’s North and South
King of the jungle Harry Redknapp has been one of football’s great swearers: a natural raconteur with the gift of knowing what people want to hear. And what people normally want to hear is some blue.
Could have multiple entries on this list, for instance, his reaction when hit on the head by a stray Portsmouth pass while giving a TV interview: “you’ve got no brains… no wonder he’s in the ****ing reserves.”
But the Hammers hero gets the nod for musing on his exceptionally handsome Portuguese forward Dani: “My missus fancies him. Even I don’t know whether to play him or **** him.”
Balloons bursts, Sir explodes
Here is the dark knight taking exception at Mike Phelan popping a balloon. Timing is impeccable on this.
Warning: Bad language may be detectable for the finer lip readers among you
An extra one million points for the sniggering among the coaching lackeys.
Dinner invitation
The great documentary Orient: Club For A Fiver introduced manager John Sitton to a wider audience, and of course his epic half-time team talk that comes to a crescendo with the bizarre exhortation to “bring your dinner.” Sitts, you have the floor:
“So you, you little **** when I tell you to do something and you, you ****ng big ****, when I tell you to do something, do it. And if you come back at me, we’ll have a ****ing right sort out in here. ‘And you can pair up if you like. And you can ****ing pick someone else to help you, and you can bring your ****ing dinner. Because, by the time I’m finished with you, you’ll ****ing need it. Do you ****ing hear what I’m saying or not?”
John. They heard you. They really did.
Roy targets the ‘bollix’
Roy Keane’s legendary Saipan tantrum about the standard of the training facilities provided for the Republic of Ireland at the 2002 World Cup had much to recommend it, not least the withering, unanswerable demand: “do you think Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink’s sat there eating cheese ****ing sandwiches?”
But it was his vicious two-footed lunge on unfortunate manager Mick McCarthy that lives longest in the memory. Over to you, Roy:
“You’re a ****ing ******. I didn’t rate you as a player, I don’t rate you as a manager and I don’t rate you as a person. You’re a ****ing ****** and you can stick your World Cup up your ****. I’ve got no respect for you. The only reason I have any dealings with you is that somehow you are the manager of my country! You can stick it up your bollix.”
What have been your favourite all-time football swears? Perhaps it is Didier Drogba getting right up close to the camera to say that it was all a "****ing disgrace"? Or would you like to return to the classics with the late Graham Taylor in The Impossible Job? Let us know in the comments below, and hurry: Wayne could be burning through his fortune 25 dollars at a go and there is no time to lose.